


The Titty Penguin

by LaEmperatrizMariana



Series: The Breastforce Doesn't Work that Way. [1]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Bombs, Comedy, F/M, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Strategic Flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-09 20:37:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6922507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaEmperatrizMariana/pseuds/LaEmperatrizMariana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arcee is determined to get revenge on a band of Decepticon delinquents (known as the Destrons), particularly on their busty leader, Deathsaurus. Also, Deathsaurus does some vintage scheming with a modern twist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Titty Penguin

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta-read, written in one sitting and given a very appropriate title. Takes place in an AU.
> 
> As of this moment, it's its own stand-alone story with an IDW-ish Arcee and Victory-based Deathsaurus...or at least my exaggerated interpretation of the character.
> 
> Please let me know if I should up the rating due to some questionable dialogue.

 Prowl was assisting Bumblebee in his political campaign when he received an emergency call. There was a report of a break-in at an energy plant near Iacon. Unable to investigate the matter himself, Prowl sent Arcee over to investigate.

 Arcee arrived at the plant and noticed it was deserted and there was a large hole on the building's north wing. Using her visor, she saw the delinquents siphoning the energy into molds, making large energon cubes. Outnumbered, she called for backup. Arcee moved from her position, just in case. However, it was too late. She had already been spotted.

 With only a nano-second to spare, Arcee jumped out of the way. A giant spiky mace struck the ground, leaving a massive crater. She turned around and saw a large, blue, winged, chesty mech. Arcee attacked the mech in self-defense, but he deflected all her attacks with ease. The mech chuckled at her. She couldn't help but feel a bit ruffled by him. The mech sighed and kicked her out of the way.

 "Do you really have what it takes to defeat the Emperor of Destruction?" asked the mech. Arcee didn't reply, instead she drew out her pistol. Before she had a chance to fire it, the mech cut it with his sword and pinned her to the ground. He was too heavy to push out of the way. He positioned himself over her and whispered sensually in her ear, "I didn't think so."

 Uncomfortable, Arcee tried to transform to get out of his grip, but he applied more pressure to her. The mech grabbed a hold of her arms and then breathed onto nape of her neck. Arcee struggled to get out of his grip and punch him in the face, no matter how handsome she though he was. 

 Fortunately, Arcee remembered that Wheeljack had recently installed a pepper-spray mod. Closing her eyes, she released a burst of the pepper-spray. It didn't affect him much, but due to habit, he released his grip on her to cover his sneeze. 

 Arcee slipped away and said, "Bless you!" due to habit. 

 The mech didn't have much time to react after realizing what had occurred. Ironhide and the dinobots had arrived as back-up. The mech sighed and pulled out an antiquated com-unit. "Reteat!"

 At that, the mech winked at her, transformed into a large penguin-like griffin and flew away. Those with him took whatever they could and flew away. Swoop chased after them in his alt-mode. Because they were faster than him, he transformed into his robot mode, mid-air, and shot at one. He struck them in the wing and joined the others. 

 Ironhide rushed over to Arcee to check for injuries. Arcee was only dented and scratched, but otherwise fine. "Damn him!" snarled Arcee, "I will make him pay for what he did to me..."

 "Arcee, please..." said Ironhide in a calm manner, "Deathsaurus is a psychological warrior. So don't let that ho's tricks get to ya. He does questionable things like that to mess with his opponents' minds."

 Arcee growled, and helped Ironhide and the others assessed the damage to the plant. It seemed the workers had fled when the bomb that caused the hole on the wall exploded. There were no causalities and they reported their findings to Prowl and Bumblebee.

 Meanwhile, Deathsaurus and his subordinates returned to their ship, the Thunder Arrow. Though they didn't gather much as much energy as they had hoped, their mission was successful. Triumphant, Deathsaurus returned to the captain's quarters. He met up with his wife, Esmeral, who was overseeing operations while he was away.

 Without looking at him, Esmeral said, "Wipe that smile off your face and explain yourself..."

 Few dared to address him in such a manner, and Esmeral was one of those people. Deathsaurus frowned and said, "It was just a game. Meaningless courtship, of you will, to distract that femme while the Breastforce finished the job. The only person I direct my affections with pure sincerity is you. That's because I feel nothing for them, but feel everything for you."

 Unhappy with his reply, Esmeral said, "Prove it."

 "Very well," said Deathsarus. He looked around and saw Hellbat walking down the halls to deliver a large cube of energon to the storage room. Deathsaurus smirked and yelled at Hellbat, "Hellbat! I order your to come in here this instant!"

 Nervous, Hellbat entered the room and placed the energon cube near the door. "Yes, Emperor?" 

 Deathsaurus approached him aggressively, "Your devilish ears failed me Hellbat. You didn't spot and hypnotize that nosy Autobot. And now my allergies are acting up again because of that Autobot's mod! You failed me and the other Destrons! What do you say in your defense?!"

 The explosion had unnerved Hellbat since he was particularly sensitive to loud sudden noises. Frightened by Deathsaurus's hostile tone, he said, "I'm sorry." He was on the verge of tears.

 In a quick motion, Deathsaurus planted a passionate kiss on Hellbat's lips. Hellbat passed out from the shock. Deathsaurus let out a hearty laugh. He took great pleasure in toying with people's emotions. He turned to face Esmeral and said to her, "You see? It means nothing, just like all the _other_ times with all those _other_ people before."

 Esmeral seemed somewhat satisfied with his answer. Yet still saddened. "I don't know...you and that femme..."

 Deathsaurus rushed over to her and said, "If it makes you feel better, I will tone it down next time. I promise with all my spark and honor." Seeing that his plea improved her mood, he said, "Hellbat was kind-enough to leave that energon here. Why don't we enjoy some together; just you and me?" He looked at Hellbat, who was unconscious on the floor, his face redder than an Autobot faction badge. "Hellbat doesn't count."

 Esmeral giggled, "That's so sweet. But we can't, that's not fair for the others who worked so hard to gather it."

 Satisfied with her reply, Deathsaurus picked up the energon cube. "I'll take this back to the storage room. Maybe we can discuss reparations later." Deathsaurus left.

 Esmeral picked up Hellbat and carried him to his room. She laid him on his bed, and covered him with a blanket, before giving him a small kiss on the cheek. She left the room to meet up with Deathsaurus back at the captain's quarters.

  A few days had passed since the break-in. Worried about Arcee brooding, Prowl scheduled her an appointment with Wheeljack. Wheeljack was always happy to help Arcee, since she was eager to help him test out his inventions. He had heard about what happened and had just the thing for Arcee.

She arrived at his workshop at around 11:37 am. Wheeljack had some things covered under a large, oil-stained towel. 

 "Ironhide told me about what Boobsaurus, or whatever his name is, did to ya," said Wheeljack, "I got the thing just for you." Wheeljack uncovered the things. They were several small disk-like bombs and a small circular plate. Wheeljack pointed at the plate, "This is a remote-sensor trigger. If anything applies a certain amount of pressure on it, it will make those bombs explode. However, it's a one-use only device. Once the bombs explode, the trigger deactivates and can't be used again, as is." 

 "Perfect," said Arcee. 

 Wheeljack got her up on a table and numbed her chassis. Since it was like a local anesthetic, Arcee was awake during the installation procedure. Wheeljack said, "I feel for ya, Arcee. I ain't gonna lie, I have a _weakness_ for busty mechs. If I was in your position, I wouldn't have never known what to do. Especially, he if he pressed his massive chest on me like that...holy scrap!" Wheeljack shook his head, flustered at the thought.

 Arcee sighed, "Yeah, felt the same way. Then I remembered your mod. Didn't affect him much but bothered him enough to let me go." Arcee closed her eyes, "I know it's this drug you're using...but I need to tell you that I like my mechs busty too. One of the many perks I get when working with Prowl. He's so cute, I can't..."

 "I feel the same way about my old pal, Ratchet," chuckled Wheeljack, finishing up. "I wish he didn't 'grow-up' like he calls it. But then I can't blame him. All that stuff that happened to him takes a toll on someone that just cares too much. I miss the good ol' days when we worked together and generally fragged things up as a team. I wish someday everything would go back to how it was. Back when our passion of science filled us with joy and awe, when the thrill of discovery was our only true motivation." Wheeljack sighed.

 He helped Arcee off the table and led her to a couch. The procedure was over in less than fifteenth minutes. But Arcee had to wait a while so the effect of the drug wore off. It was close to Wheeljack's lunch break. So he decided to invite her for lunch and they continued their pleasant chat.

 When Arcee was on her way back home, she received a text from Prowl who wanted to speak with her. Knowing that Prowl wouldn't message her unless it was important, she hurried to meet with him. Prowl was in his office with a large map laid over his desk. 

 Smiling, he said to her, "I wanted to wait until you were done with your appointment to show you this." Prowl pointed at the map, each with various locations marked. "Deathsaurus is targeting various storage facilities in a pattern. I honestly don't know what he'd gain from stealing so much energy. The war is over, but he's still doing it anyway. His thefts are delaying reconstruction efforts. So I want him stopped."

"If he's going with a pattern, where and when is his next strike?" asked Arcee, crossing her arms and inspecting the map.

 Prowl pointed at a location not far from Simfur. Prowl explained to Arcee that the Destrons' recent suspected thefts occurred around 5:30 pm. They chose that time since it was about rush hour; workers getting ready to leave, and heavy traffic. It was difficult to arrive at the location at a timely manner, giving them time to escape. Prowl explained that  that he had discussed his plan with Wheeljack. They gave Arcee the bombs and she'd plant them on their ship, sabotaging them. This mission felt more like something Jazz would do. But Prowl knew she wanted to get back at Deathsaurus, and arranged it as such.

 Meanwhile at the Thunder Arrow, Deathsaurus' old beige rotary telephone rang. The Destrons scrambled to notify him, while wondering why he refused to upgrade. Deathsaurus answered it sweetly, "How may I help you?"

 A shrill, angry, but recognizable voice replied, "Cease and desist!"

 "But why, Lord Starscream?" asked Deathsaurus.

 The self-proclaimed emperor's sensual voice flustered Starscream. Gathering his composure,  Starscream replied, "Your suspected thefts are affecting my campaign. The polls say voters are more likely to vote for Bumblebee because he'd stop 'Decepticon Attacks'."

 Deathsaurus tittered, "Oh Starscream, I'd figure you'd learn a thing or two as the former second-in-command. Voting is useless, just seize power by force. That's what Megatron would've done."

 "Don't you dare compare me to him!" snapped Starscream.

 "You don't want me to compare you to a strong and powerful _leader_?" replied Deathsaurus calmly, "I see how it is. Hmph!" Deathsaurus hung up on Starscream before he had a chance to defend himself.

 Deathsaurus picked up his phone and called over Leozack and  Jaruga. They arrived, ready to receive orders. Deathsaurus, splayed out on his Emperor of Destruction throne, said, "I need a favor. Starscream isn't happy about our recent energy-gathering scheme. But he doesn't understand _why_ we're doing it. It's to help him win the election by causing a strategic surge in energy while the votes are being counted. This will affect the voting machines and make many of them register for Starscream. It's about time we let him in on our little secret. I want the two of you to convince him of this the Breastforce way, understood?" 

 Leozack and Jaruga nodded and ground-bridged to Starscream's room. Starscream was busy organizing his cape collection that he didn't notice them arrive. Leozack and Jaruga approached Starscream on both sides. Before he knew it, Starscream's head nestled between their bosoms. Starscream let out a frightened chirp; he was like a little bird caught by a couple of cats.

 "Lord Starscream," said Leozack, "We just want to help you win the election by messing with the voting machines. The Emperor says if we collect energon we can cause a power surge during elections and make the machines register their votes to you."

 Starscream stopped struggling. He had passed out. Jaruga poked Starscream's warm cheek. "I knew we shouldn't have double-teamed him like that."

 Just then, Rattrap entered Starscream's room. He had returned from the dry-cleaners, picking up a couple of Starscream's capes. He saw Starscream unconscious on the ground. Starscream had been smothered by a pair of pussies. Rattrap squeaked, dropping the capes on the ground, and fled from the terror. Leozack facepalmed and ordered Jaruga to pick up the capes and neatly place them on the bed. Leozack opened the window and transformed into his jet alt-mode. Jaruga held on to Leozack as he flew away.

 Meanwhile, Arcee had ground-bridged to the location. Deathsaurus hadn't taken into consideration that they figured out his plan. She hid near a shed, awaiting their arrival. Just then, she spotted the Thunder Arrow land nearby and moved towards it. The Destrons were getting position to attack. Since this particular plant was large, the Dinoforce was assisting them. They all headed out towards the plant. 

 Arcee sneaked into the ship and planted bombs in various locations, but she was spotted by Lyzack. Fortunately, Arcee had finished planting all her bombs. Lyzack approached her calmly and asked, "Are you lost?"

 Nervous, Arcee replied, "No, I'm just passing out leaflets to my church. I saw your ship land and thought you'd all be interested in hearing the good word of Primus." Arcee handed Lyzack one of the various religious pamphlets she had in her subspace because she felt to guilty to discard them.

 Too naïve to notice the pamphlets where from the Primal Basilica in Iacon, Lyzack replied, "Thank you!"

 Arcee felt bad about blowing up a ship with such an innocent person on board, she said to Lyzack, "You seem new to the area. I highly recommended shopping at one of the various bazaars. They have great deals on everything and the selection is practically endless."

 "Um...," said Lyzack, "...I don't know. The Empress told me to stand guard. She's right over there." Lyzack pointed at Esmeral who was armed with a sub-machine gun. Arcee hadn't seen her before.

 "Well, maybe both of you can stand guard together...outside!" chuckled Arcee.

 "Okay," Lyzack pulled out her sword and walked outside with Arcee.

 Arcee then waved goodbye and left. Lyzack was usually cautious about strangers, unless they were femmes. She had no reason to distrust a femme, since all the ones she knew were pure and sweet.

 Looking over at a nearby hill, Arcee spotted Hellbat. She was warned of his hypnotic powers and disabled her audial receptors. Due to Starscream's call, Deathsaurus had instructed Hellbat to hypnotize the workers at the facility. 

 Dancing, while speaking into a wireless microphone, Hellbat chanted, " _Saimin_ , _Suimin_ , _Tōmin_ , Hellbat!"

 He commanded the workers to help transport the energon onto the carts the Destrons had brought. The reason they didn't employ this strategy was because it was exhausting to Hellbat. The more people he controlled, the more draining it was for him. He needed to maintain his concentration in order to manipulate them to his whim.

 The plan was complete. All Arcee needed was for someone help her activate the trigger. She looked around for Deathsaurus, since she had a score to settle with him. She finally spotted him and gave him a loud wolf-whistle. Used to strangers doing that to him on a regular basis, Deathsaurus ignored her. Annoyed, she yelled, "How can you call yourself 'The Emperor of Destruction' if you couldn't even destroy my valve?!"

 Grossly offended and recognizing her voice, Deathsaurus flew up to her. He landed with such force, he knocked her off her feet and she landed face up on the ground.

 Trying to control his rage, he said calmly, "Are you sending an unsolicited invitation for interface? No matter, I'll flatter you..." Before Arcee had a chance to reply, Deathsaurus pulled out a large cannon, which was connected to his lower-body, and aimed at her face. "I'll just shoot a load on your face with my crotch rocket-launcher...er...'Living-Metal Destroying Cannon' instead."  

 Arcee's eyes widened and she whimpered, "Scrap!"

 Yet, Arcee's frightened expression was just a rouse. In a desperate attempt, she tried to kick Deathsaurus' Living-Metal Destroying Cannon out of the way. But she tripped Deathsaurus and he fell on top of her, breasts on her face. His weight instantly triggered the bombs and the Thunder Arrow disintegrated leaving behind a massive crater. The loud blast disrupted Hellbat's concentration that he broke down in tears. The explosion was so powerful, it registered as a 3.5 magnitude earthquake. Deathsaurus looked up and saw the mushroom cloud in the location of his ship. His heart sank as he ran to the site, with an anguished cry, screaming, "Esmé!" Though he lost all his personal belongings, losing his beloved wife was the worst pain of all. He was also upset over Lyzack, she was like a daughter to him.

 Arcee picked herself off the ground and saw the blast. Upset, she called Prowl to ground-bridge her back to Iacon. Though her revenge was spectacular, the fate of Lyzack and Esmeral troubled her conscious.

 Meanwhile, Esmeral and Lyzack were in Simfur shopping. Lyzack managed to convince her empress to go along with her. They had ground-bridged there and were at a safe distance away from the site, but heard the sudden blast. Minutes later, they saw the report and hurried back to the site.

 There, Deathsaurus was wailing so loudly that even the random bystanders tried to comfort him. Esmeral handed her shopping bags to Killbison and ran over to Deathsaurus, embracing him. Deathsaurus could do nothing else but gasp in shock. Esmeral comforted him, though it did little to lessen his shock. He was just relieved to see she was safe.

 The event made national news. However, Arcee or Wheeljack were never caught, since the bombs he made were completely destroyed upon detonation. Wheeljack smiled as he watched the news because he loved blowing things up. Prowl was relieved his plan was a success. He didn't tell Bumblebee about being involved. But somehow Bumblebee had that gut feeling.

 Wanting to use the event as an opportunity for publicity, Starscream gifted Deathsaurus a replacement ship. It was an old warworld. (A spherical battle cruiser, used mainly by Decepticons.) Starscream, being in a position of power, easily acquired it somehow. The legality of the aquisition doesn't matter because Deathsaurus got compensated and lived happily ever after with his wife and fellow Destrons. The End. 


End file.
